Elizabeth & Brendan

Here it is. October 30 and I had to shovel (neighbor peer pressure). So tonight we are making dinner and a fire.

So when I worked in Lexington, I would fill up the gas tank every 10 days. Then when I switched jobs I was filling it up every 14 days. Now that we are both taking the T to work I am curious to see when I will news to fill up again. I filled of today and now we see when I need to again. I wonder if we can make it a month?

Don’t ask me how I did it but I ran (using the term loosely but I started out running and ended running, what happened in the middle is irrelevent) 13.1 miles on Sunday. Now I know I am just lazy when I don’t run more than 2 miles.

Thanks for a fun day Kristin M!

about whether I should quit Facebook or not.

From eatliver.com

I have stopped posting and only play scrabble on Facebook. I have yet to delete my account but that may be coming.

Today sucked and tomorrow doesn’t look much better.

I know Billy is in a better place – just have to get Richie to one as well.

Me and my brothers.

Brendan follows a geek website xkcd.com and about a year ago subtle references to cancer and illness started to show up in some of the comics he creates. It turns out that his fiancee was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer. While I don’t get why “Sudo make me a sandwich” is hilarious, I do get the ones about cancer. Here is one I liked because it is so true.

Our tomato plants are coming in and we can’t eat them fast enough. And this is after many got lost in the winds of Irene. Brendan is trying to make gazpacho this week. After that, not sure what to do with them. Thoughts are welcome!

The peppers look they are finally coming and the squash blooms but produces nothing else.

May need to change up the crops next summer.

Brendan has been in the UK since last Sunday missing the earthquake and hurricane (or tropical storm).  Since we are prone to water in the basement, I was in full on panic mode.  At first Brendan didn’t think the threat real or serious but then he found the Internet and realized I was not crazy.

I had flashlights, food, and a plan for the basement.  I was all set.  On Saturday we got a lot of rain and there was water in the utility room and in the laundry.  I got the wet vac and got all the water.  It wasn’t a threat but I figured, let’s get it up and out of the house since more rain was coming.  I was going to sleep on the floor in the basement but Kim talked me out of it.  Instead, I slept in my comfy bed but set the alarm for 5 so I could see if the leaking started.  I awoke, looked outside and was hopeful.  I went downstairs and nothing, bone dry.  So I took Eli out for a walk where he went #1 and #2.  The wind had started so I tried to get in and out and Eli knew the deal.  He trotted to the Bike Path, did his business and then trotted home.  Since there was wind and no rain, we went back to bed.  Around 7:30 the rain started and things went well overall.  I had to vacuum up a bit but it was only from 11:30-2:00.  When we moved in, there was leaking in 3 of the 3 rooms in the basement.  Today it was just 1 room.  And I am not sure the vacuuming stopped it all that much but I figure it didn’t hurt it.  So in the afternoon, I just checked in a bit. And now it is really drying up.  So I will be able to sleep fine.  The wind is still coming from time to time but so far, just a lot of debris and branches in the street.

Today is 2 years cancer-free.  This post is just me rambling and it is not just “i am doing fine.”  So if you are looking for something with linear thoughts or something happy go lucky, you may want to try another blog.

Last year, Brendan and I went out to celebrate the first year and this year since he is in the UK for work, I am going out some friends.  I am not celebrating the day because it was not that much fun – until I got the sedative.  (I love that stuff. No joke.  It was that good.  I got excited for it before my follow-up surgeries.)  But rather, Brendan and I need to recognize how far we have come.

It has been 2 years but it is still something we struggle with.  We spent the first 6-8 months dealing with surgeries and coming to terms with the diagnosis.  And it was/is hard sometimes because both Brendan and I feel like we got good news and a good prognosis and everyone thinks “all is fine.”  But some days it is not.  I don’t think Emily Post wrote a chapter on how to deal with getting cancer.  Maybe she did and I just missed it.  But some days it is hard and depressing.  Some nights I deal with it by chilling with a bottle of wine (yes a bottle, don’t judge.  I had cancer.) and some days I go out for a walk or a run.  And I do think my bad days are diminishing in number but it is a journey.  I am not sure the right way to handle all of this and sometimes I may do something wrong in other people’s minds.  But all i can say is that I am dealing the only way I know how and sometimes that involves me watching really bad TV where I don’t have to think or feel anything and sometimes I want to talk about it all.

And part of this issue is that Brendan and I live in a world where an ache or pain or cough could be sinister.  A lump is not always a lump and doctor’s actually do deliver bad news.  So in our world, a tree can no longer be a tree, everything has a deeper meaning and I have to err on the side of bad.  We have had to adjust to our new normal.

This post seems all gloomy but it is not.  It is part of the process of reminding myself, how far we have come because many times I still feel like we have so far to go.  I just need to get this out there and now it becomes a reference point for next year when we hit 3 years and counting… and realize we are doing well and still doing things our way.

I am finally getting to my Strasbourg Christmas Market.  When in Switzerland I had fallen in love with the Christmas market.  I love it.  And when I was there, everyone would talk about the market in Strasbourg and how it is the oldest one in Europe and it is amazing.  So Brendan and I are cashing in our flight vouchers and heading to Paris and Strasbourg.  Brendan is excited to see what has changed since he lived there.  I am looking forward to the tarte flambee and Quick.  And of course the market!  So we are heading off in the beginning of December for some fun.  Allons-y!